Response to 'cesarean moms didn't give birth' meme

Response to “you didn’t really give Birth” Meme

I had seen this meme earlier in the week and just scrolled passed it as I thought it was complete rubbish not worthy of a response. But the more I thought about it the more I realise the many, many women who had cesarean deliveries DID deserve a response to this meme.

In case you have not seen it the meme was a photo of a cesarean scar and the following written on it:

“Face the Facts: You didn’t really give birth. You caught a lucky break. Please show respect to superior women who actually had what it took to get the job done.”

Lets break that down.

“You caught a lucky break” – There’s nothing ‘lucky’ about a cesarean. It is major abdominal surgery. It involves an IV, spinal block, catheter, uncontrollable shaking, throwing up, a surgical knife cutting through layers and layers of skin and tissue and through to your womb, your baby being pulled from your body, your placenta being pulled away, a large number of stitches, for many women no skin to skin with their baby until much later and being separated from her birth partner and baby until an hour or two after the birth, being restricted to your bed requiring assistance to lift your baby to your chest when he cries, difficulty breast feeding and getting milk to come in, being terrified to stand up straight the first time you’re allowed to get out of bed, having to shower and clean a wound whilst petrified you’ll do damage to it, days or weeks of pain killers and guilt over taking them if breastfeeding, 6 weeks of slow physical recovery until you can drive again and feel some independence, a restricted family size, and for some women emotional difficulty in dealing with the birth (and let's not even start on the risks for your next pregnancy and birth). Now please tell me the person that made that meme has the small amount of intelligence required to see that there is nothing “lucky” about any of that.

“Superior women who actually had what it took to get the job done” – Kudos Moms who had vaginal birth – I’ve had both. And, I can say without any doubt that neither is superior. They are both very different but both result in the same thing, a baby being born i.e. JOB DONE. So in my humble opinion as a GentleBirth Instructor, Doula, VBAC preparation course facilitator, cesarean and vbac Mom and quite frankly just a human being with a degree of decency, I believe that all Moms should show respect to each other regardless of delivery method, feeding choice, schooling choice, vaccination choice, working/stay at home Mom choices etc.

And you will notice in the previous sentence how “delivery method” does not have the word choice at the end of it. For the large majority of Moms, having their baby delivered by cesarean section it NOT their first preference. In fact for a lot of Moms the idea of having a cesarean can be frightening and the last thing they want but labor can be unpredictable so sometimes a cesarean can be a life-saving operation for Mom or baby or both. Add to that the large numbers of women who will say they were coerced into a cesarean that was not necessary. There is also the many women who have had a cesarean who wish to have a vaginal birth next time round as it is the recommended option for healthy Moms (ACOG) who cannot find a supportive obstetrician – 57% as reported by ICAN. So not showing these very strong women respect for what is often out of their hands is just down right disgraceful. Has this religious group ever read the line “judge not lest ye be judged”, a better understanding of that and of birth is needed. Whether the meme was serious or satirical it is an insult to a strong group of women. A proceedure with the physical, emotional and mental health implications that can derive from a cesarean is not something to be taken lightly.

“Face the facts you didn’t really give birth” – To every single mom out there who had a cesarean section, regardless of the reason behind it let me tell you something right now it takes more strength, resilience and stamina to go through major abdominal surgery and then look after a new born baby whilst recovering then most people will ever know. When a family member has major surgery they are on bed rest and have people looking after them. When you have a cesarean section you not only have to recovery from the surgery but you also have to be at the beckon call of a gorgeous new baby who will most likely need you to pick them up to nurse, change or simply cuddle every couple of hours for next few weeks and more. There is no recovery time with a cesarean, you are a Mom who needs to tend to your baby straight away. Whilst you may have support of your partner and family your baby needs you and your instincts will not leave you sit back and just take it easy. Cesarean Moms are just as strong as Moms who give birth vaginally.

Cesarean Moms - don’t let anyone, least of all some religious group looking for attention affect you. You gave birth to your baby. In medical terms if a person has a cesarean birth their file will read “delivery method – Cesarean” – so using the term “delivery” implies they delivered their baby. And 12 months later funnily enough your child will have a “birthday”, as in celebration of the day they were born. You birthed your baby and you are an extremely brave group of women who deserve the upmost respect.

Author Lisa Dowling

www.positivebirthagency.com

https://www.facebook.com/positivebirthagency