One GentleBirth Dad's story

I have to admit when my partner said she had booked us into a GentleBirth workshop I was skeptical to put it lightly. But having watched the way she/we were treated in the previous birth I couldn’t refuse, if this workshop helped in any small way with her nerves and anxieties then the least I could do would be attend with her. To be frank I was more than surprised she wanted to have a second baby, after the first experience she swore never again and I couldn’t blame her.

She had wanted a homebirth but there was discrepancies in the dates and at 14 over to the hospital (8 days over to us) homebirth was gone and induction on the table. I’ll never forget the fear, the intimidation, the tears, and the pain that followed in the 32 hours of labor prior to the coerced C-section. I couldn’t blame her for not wanting to go through it again but we didn’t want to leave our first lonely. The positive test was met with tears of happiness and fear. So if this workshop could help then I was all for going but I didn’t think one weekend was going to achieve much. It wasn’t too expensive in the grand scheme of things considering how much the pram, cot, etc. cost.

So in we went. I could tell I wasn’t the only one that was feeling a little unenthused by the whole thing. This is just going to be another antenatal class with how to breathe and stuff, right? How wrong was I? The workshop turned out to be a game changer. Having felt very much pushed aside by hospital staff at the birth of our first child I couldn’t believe how much I was taking in and how much I could actually do. I learned acupressure, massage, hypnosis, mindfulness, the effects of terminology on women in labor, elements of sports psychology, how to advocate on my partners behave. I learned that if a nurse was making my partner feel uncomfortable I could go and ask for a change-I wish I had known that first time around. I honestly expected to feel bored but it was jam packed with so much information that it flew by. My partner came away from this workshop in disbelief that she was actually looking forward to the birth. I came away from it feeling so confident that this time I was prepared to help her in so many ways even if things didn’t go to plan.

So the day finally arrived. Having been induced the first time my partner was not sure if she was in labor or not for the first two hours, she went about doing the grocery shopping whilst I was in work. Even after two hours and consistent contractions or tightening’s as we called them, my partner thought they would stop any minute. They didn’t so we set about getting her comfortable in the bath. When she felt ready we moved to the hospital.

My partner took some Entonox and I did some acupressure for her as things ramped up. I will never forget the elation in my partner face when they said baby was crowning. Our daughter was born just a few hours after we arrived at the hospital. The pride I felt as I watched my partner push our baby in to the world is indescribable. Joy and relief filled the delivery room. My wife simply said “I did it”.

I knew that if this birth had of been a repeat C-section she would have been more than ok because she labored like every woman should – in control of her body and of what decisions were being made. GentleBirth gave that to her, to us. The difference between the two births was not that one went the way we wanted and one didn’t. It was that my partner felt calm, secure and not disregarded in our preferences. The confidence to do that came from the workshop. One weekend that I didn’t think would achieve much literally changed everything. Even the postpartum period, one our first my wife suffered with post-traumatic stress and everything is still a little blurry for her when she thinks of the first few weeks following the birth, now 2 years on from our daughter’s birth she can remember every second of her GentleBirth.

I’m not one for reading pregnancy or birth books so I found the workshop really worked for me. I am happy to admit that I was wrong with my first impressions. For all those Dads to be out there if you buy one thing for your other half during the pregnancy invest in helping her have a positive experience of child birth because the knock on effect of a bad experience can shake the strongest of women to their core. This one weekend changed everything, it is a game changer not just for Moms but for Dads too.

www.positivebirthagency.com